Posts

just trying to work through and let go

I am damaged. For real. But I keep it nice and hidden and just try to forget some shit even happened, because it seems so small and insiginificant. You know what, maybe fucking not. I had a real shit pile of a boyfriend for about a year and a half - which was really a year and a half too long, and I knew it. But he was so cute, and so this and so that and I dealt with it. From the get go he told me I was not attractive. Me being young and naive, I believed if he just got to know me, his opinions would surely change. He would see that the slim, model types weren't all that was sexy in the world and I could show him otherwise. Little did I know that I would no longer, really ever, feel confident trying to be sexy. He shot me down sexaully so much. SO MUCH. I wanted him so much and I would do whatever because I was a thirsty girl, with a boyfriend who didn't really like fucking her. One day, this person, who gives me no affection and tender loving care, is caught

School work that is bullshit work

So doing school work is usually no problem for me. Even as I write this I know that I should be typing that paper up instead. I've been making an outline for 2 hours. Actually I haven't. I did it in like maybe 30 mins. And as I review the notes and details regarding the would-be paper, it makes me roll my eyes and find some distracting thing that's a million times better than that fucking paper. And it's such a bullshit assignment too. "Name three major concepts in your book from this class. Identify why they are important to you with examples from your life. Back them up with text from the book and cite in APA style." Why, so your teaching assistant can score brownie points? ugh whatever. I know what communication concepts i find effective as an adult in the working world. I don't feel the need to barf that out onto a page for someone to verify that I read the course work. Clearly my grades proove that. Or how about something more original. Like if the as